I was unemployed for eight months. That's a long time. You certainly can do a lot around the house in eight months. I didn't do any of it. The walkway project, where I got all the materials for free, did not get done. The railing upstairs, or down depending on your point of view, never got off the ground. The paint touchups that I could have been doing....nope. Why? I think it was/is a bit of depression and fear.
Depression is to be expected but fear? I feared not being there for when the phone would ring. I checked messages every 10-20 minutes when I was away. Yes, they could have and did, leave messages but I thought I needed to answer that phone. I look back at the time and energy I wasted for the past 8 months. Time I'll never get back. I know, stop beating myself up.
I also spend the past 8 months being a social loser. I was invited to a few outings with friends but always made some type of excuse not to go out. I made a deal with myself that as soon as I got a job, I would celebrate a bit. Maybe have that long awaited beer then again, maybe a diet Pepsi. Who knows, it's time to shake this thing.
1 comment:
Just started reading your blog. Funny how I also had that fear which kept me kinda tied to the computer for a good part of the day...waiting for that email.
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